Originally I was going to wait to post again, until life had settled back into a normal rhythm, but I realized many people have been praying and waiting for an update.

The Lord has provided a new position for me inside of Seoul. Full time. Housing provided. Reasonable hours. It is definitely an answered prayer.

When I have told people where I am moving to, the reactions have been pretty mixed. I am moving to the northern part Seoul, to a neighborhood called Eunpyeong-gu. Eunpyeong-gu is closer and officially in Seoul, but it is a much older area than Suji-gu, where I previously lived. People expressed enthusiasm, nervousness, sadness, and even joy. I am also feeling all of those emotions. I am moving away from friends and neighborhoods that I know and enjoy well, to a whole new community, filled with a much different demographic than the one I have left. For me this was one of the aspects I worried about the most, because I tend to build relationships slowly. I want to be apart of the community not just surrounded by it. So it feels a bit like being a plant being re-potted over and over again. But I am also happy about the opportunity to grow and build new relationships here. I am closer to friends and church. I can join events and activities without worrying about trying to find a way home. There is so much potential about where God has moved me.

 I officially started working at the school yesterday and I will take over the teaching on Monday. It is never easy to take over a class in the middle of the year, and this will be the second time, is as many years, that I have had to do just that. The routines and patterns established by teachers, students and parents may all change a bit, and there is going to be a bit of struggle in that. All in all, everyone has been very kind and accepting, just very busy.

Truthfully, I am not yet excited about this situation. I think the reason for my solemness is, in part, to this process being taken mostly from my grasp. I did not feel ready to leave my former position. By the time I was informed that I did have to find a new job, I had no time to research and settle my own mind and heart. I have for a long time struggled with my own desire to dictate what I can in my life. It developed as a coping and self -preservation method from my childhood. But I am still alarmed when I see how deep this trait has rooted itself into my personality. My goal in this next month is to develop and maintain a true excited nature for what this new home and job (new teachers & new students).

Finding Home (Take 2)

I am sitting back in my favorite coffee shop, this hidden oasis in the middle of Seoul, frustrated, tired and looking towards a very different immediate future here in Korea.

We were notified on Thursday, after lunch, that our school would be closing permanently after the next days classes. This is after being assured a couple of weeks before that we would absolutely not be closing. In the midst of all of this, I still had to move, but now with no warning, I now had no where to move into. Thursday evening was a bad night, filled with tears and prayers; desperate supplications to the Lord for a brief insight into his reasoning and the need for that moment.

In the days since, the Lord has brought much peace and even some clarity, leaving me in a place to finally be able to share a little bit.

I honestly have no idea what life is going to look like moving forward. I have had several interviews and have even more scheduled. I feel like this is a time for healing and rest, but also a chance for growth. Even with the many problems and issues surrounding my former school, I was truly blessed to be there. I was able to be at a Christian school, where people genuinely loved the Lord, each other and their students. In the short time away from this school, I have seen that is not the norm around Korea.  In the past few interviews I have experienced, Directors would continuously try to discredit and insult my former school, but in a way that also was a discredit and an insult to myself and our other teachers. The financial status of the parents at the school was directory brought up and compared in interviews (many times, the directors are speaking of their own views here, with no knowledge of the families from the other school.) My first reaction was to be turned away. I do not share those views. I do not rate the importance or potential of a person by their acquired world wealth. As I pray and think over the situation more, I do see the potential mission field that lays before me. 

Before moving to Korea, I was well informed of how the education system worked here, like a micro-system of the grander socio-culture of Korea, "money equals power". I hated it. I had no desire to exist in that abusive environment. Ultimately it is an environment that directly feeds into what is the highest youth and young adult suicide rate in modern society. If the Lord was bringing me to Korea as a teacher, I wanted to teach the neglected and forgotten. I wanted to work with orphans. When I arrived, I realized that is not where the Lord was putting me. He put me in a very wealthy neighborhood, where parents would peacock around each other, often trying to one up each other. In that time I learned to love these families. To see them through the eyes of the Lord. Seeing their fears and insecurities. Learning many of them have never heard the Gospel, the good news of the Lord, because people only approached them for their status. And now I may have the opportunity to work in a community where status is often equated to worship status. And this school, unlike my last is not a Christian school. They willingly feed into this monstrous lie that money equals worth. It turns my stomach thinking about it. But then I remembered Jonah. I am pronouncing judgement on this school and these kids. If I am offered this job, then I will go joyfully and in deep prayer. That like Nineveh, who heard the Word of God and repented of their sin, those who are currently not currently following and loving the Lord and each other will also hear the Word of God and repent. I do not want to make the same selfish mistakes of Jonah. These people are not my enemies, but are the mission field. 

I don't know for certain if this is where the Lord is going to send me. I have no answers in that regard yet. I am just as curious as you. But I do know that I am in the Lord's hand, and he is leading and directing this time in my life. I have so much to be thankful for:

• Unexpected Rest- My last position was exhausting, and it had absolutely no time for breaks. I spent most of my free time working and prepping for my next class. I am trying not to take advantage of this time of rest, or extend it irresponsibly. With my family visiting, I would be thankful if I could extend it until Chuseok, but if that is not the Lord's will, then I will happily head back to work sooner.
• Living Space - I am effectively homeless. Yet, I am living with an elderly Christian couple in what may be one of the largest Korean apartments, that I have ever seen. They willingly and lovingly took me (and the entire contents of my apartment) in, because their friend mentioned my need. The Lord answered and fulfilled my need in a completely unexpected and most gracious way. My hope is to find a new permanent place by Chuseok. While they are gracious, I also want to be conscious of their situation. I am sure they will need the room back, if their family visits for the holiday.
• Study Time -  I have not had an opportunity to work on my Korean since I moved here. I would say my skills have weakened instead of improved. I want to use this time to study and grow in my ability to use the language.