The bible is filled with stories of God working in the lives of broken women and men. Just as he was not finished working in their lives, he is not done working in ours.
Today Eugene Cho came to visit and to preach at Jubilee. During his sermon (John 21:1-14) he told us of a story from his past. As a young and new followat of Christ, he would call upon God to show him what God's plan was for his life. He prayed about everything; his major, future career, his potential wife. Like many of us, in his desperate cry to the Lord, he was expecting a semi-immediate and remarkably clear response from God. He didn't get that. He then began to share some of the hardships and frustrating times that he experienced since praying those prayers. As he spoke, you could hear the heartbreak, but also the growth those moments brought. He then admitted to the congregation, that if God had answered his prayers, in the manner he had wanted them answered, he would have given up everything then and there. God left him in the dark on his future, because the Lord loved him, and his promise was to be with him.
For some reason this sermon and story has stuck with me, more than anything else. This is such a near and dear aspect to my relationship with the Lord, yet it was always difficult to put into words or even a coherent thought. Throughout my life, God has rarely ever shown me the full picture of what is to come. My imagination is big, but I can't begin to predict how the Lord is going to move and direct my path, ever.
When my heart first started to stir for Korea and my mind began to imagine what moving there would look like, God called me to join a church plant, August Gate. It was not on my radar. To be quite honest, I broke down in tears upon the realization that was where he was calling me, not Korea, and not the other church plant that had been on my radar. The Lord grew me and I thrived while apart of AG. I began to pursue a "settled life" in STL, loving Korea from afar and living among the Korean-American community in STL, and pursuing a long term career that would allow that. God shut so many doors during that time. It was difficult, extremely difficult, but God was faithful and he was with me every step of the way. "You are not forsaken. You are not alone. I have a good and perfect plan for you."
It has been 2 years since God moved me to Korea. For many expats I meet, that is as long as they want to stay, so it is a bit shocking to them when I exclaim that I have no desire to return to the US.
I moved to Korea with the idea on my heart that this was my new home for life. I also moved to Korea confident that God's plans are bigger than my own. For a while, my biggest fear was not having the ease of permanent stability here in Korea. I am not ethnically Korean, therefore, I am not granted the hospitality to stay and explore life here. I am granted the right to live here because I have proven I have something to offer. Truthfully, rather than feeling appreciated, it often leaves me deeply offended. I have to fight that frustration and offense daily. I have to remember the amazing and wonder people I have met and have grown to love here. I have to remember that governments exist to protect their citizens, so the offensive laws are not personal against me,but were derived to protect those I came to serve. I have to remember I was called here by the Lord. Me working as a teacher is all apart of God's perfect plan. I have to remember that God is not done with me or the story he is writing through my life. I hope, if you are reading this, you can remember that also. God is still working. Christ is alive! You are loved!
Sunday, August 25, 2019
Wednesday, March 13, 2019
Confusing Surviving and Domineering: My feelings towards Captain Marvel
I read an article the other day, published on the Gospel Coalition website. It amounted to an attack on the newest Marvel movie "Captain Marvel", claiming it was anti-gospel, honing in on the feminist rhetoric of the film. It is the first time I can remember being so disappointed in those who run the website.
Then, I also read several reviews, by male friends whom I generally share similar opinions about many films, and they were also unimpressed by Captain Marvel. It was shocking for me to read, as my opinion was very different.
While it was not the best stand alone Marvel hero film, I accredited much of that to the difficult sandwiching of the film between Infinity War and Endgame. I may be making large assumptions, but this Captain Marvel movie wasn't about showcasing Captain Marvel primarily, but to introduce certain necessary components of her story and powers, so that her role in Endgame is fleshed out and understood for the casual movie goer.
I was surprised, by how much levity and character development they were able to bring to the table. Antman and Wasp already had a foundation to build from, for their mid Infinity War-Endgame place, but Carol Danver's story exists in this dead space of time in the cinematic universe. They were able to tie her story into the universe we already knew, while providing at least 5 new characters for an audience to be curious about and identify with.
But here is where the problems begins, while a woman finally has a choice of competent women and girls to identify with, it seems men were unable to find that person in this film. Talos was a man who desperately searched the universe for his hidden family. From what we can gleam of him in the film, Talos was unable to protect his family alone, he needed to allow others to help him. Next we have Fury and Coulson. We see both men are at much younger, innocent, and ultimately less powerful points in their lives. While many men want to identify with the older versions of these men, he younger versions of these men are found lacking when compared to their more mature selves.
The final major male character in this film is Yon-rogg. He is a warrior. He is a mentor. And ultimately he is poised in the role of villain. On the surface his villainy is that of a deceiver (like Loki) but not much more than that. His means were bad. His goal was bad. He has killed many people, but it is war time for his people, and while it is unjust, he is just the messenger carrying out the order for his commander, the supreme being. No one wants to associate with the villain, but I think many men are left doing so and it was uncomfortable. (As it should be. Yon-rogg is a scary villain because of how familiar he is)
There is one more significant male role in Carol's life. We don't see him much, but it is her father, and the part he plays is significant. In the frustrating article I read from Gospel Coalition, it argued this:
"As I consider Disney’s new depiction of femininity in Captain Marvel, I cannot help but mourn. How far we’ve come since the days when we sought to protect and cherish our women. The great drumroll of the previous Avenger movies led to this: a woman protecting men and saving the world. The mightiest of all the Avengers — indeed, after whom they are named — is the armed princess turned feminist queen, who comes down from the tower to do what Prince Charming could not."
And
"Unquestionably, men ought support women’s desires to be affirmed, respected, and honored. But indeed, few actions display our resolve to honor our women more than excluding them from the carnage of the battlefield. "
Sir- I can respect your heart for what you are saying. I too believe that men and woman are created equal, but ultimately different. I too believe men are generally called by God to bear the brunt of physical sacrifice of this nature. But her ferocity in the physical war was not the REAL story line. Whether US. Air-force or Kree guard, those battles and wars were secondary plot in this movie.
If you read Psalm 31 you will not see a pretty princess waiting in a tower to be saved. And if you actually look at Carol's life, you will see there were no men willing to be the type of man you are proposing we see. Her father, yelled at her for racing rather than checking to see if she was uninjured. Her go cart flipped over multiple times, her skin was black with burns, dirt and grease and his reaction was anger and not concern. This reaction is common. This reaction is sinful. Protecting a woman from danger is not banning her from the action, but acknowledging that you will willingly going her stead, so she might not have to. Carol went to war, because she had no one willing to do it for her. Many people expect Carol and other women to be sad about this, but she wasn't. Many men are offended by her lack of need of them for protection. **side point addressing some other bible based issues... not so much about the film. As a woman who is a follower of Christ, I do not submit myself to the leadership of sinful men out of my need of their protection. I do so because the Lord has called me to. My submission compliments the growth and redemptive story he is forming in their lives. A wife's submission to her husband, reflects Christ's putting himself under the authority of God the Father, which we see time and time again. Be reminded, Men of God, woman are not biblically expected to cower from danger or to submit to any and every male. To assume you know the role God has intended for someone is a dangerous assumption. Only God knows the full story that is being woven in a person's life. Back to film based conversations** As for the Carol doing what the others couldn't. Your claim is simply speculation as to the climax of Endgame. If I am frank, it is a pretty awful guess as too the ending. As of now, Fury not knowing who was left on his team, called in the only back-up he knew, to help those who were left. How someone makes the jump to her replacing them and diminishing their roles and worth as heroes is beyond my understanding.
I mentioned earlier that there is a real war happening in this film. It is the fight that holds the greatest weight in the film. I believe, it is also what the film makers had intended when referring to Captain Marvel being the "biggest feminist movie of all time." Yon-rogg was always the ultimate villain for this film. Carol Danvers was kidnapped, had her identity stolen from her, and she was mentally berated (on a daily basis) by this man. For 6 years, her identity was given from him and found in him alone. This is not some salvation story, it never was. This is a super hero origin story of abuse and oppression. This is the parallel story of sex trafficking. This is the parallel of domestic abuse. This is the parallel of a majority of women's personal stories. Yon-rogg even injected his own blood into hers, lording it over her as a claim of ownership. That is why the cottage scene was so important. Yon-rogg was parading his status, as an abuser would, to to woman he raped and claimed as his own.
Carol Danvers is not an amazing superhero because she can shoot photon beams and go binary. She is a superhero because she stood face to face with her abuser and won. When Carol punched Yon-rogg in the face during his ranting monologue, she became a hero to woman everywhere. This scene was not inspired by the need for just one more bit of fluffy comedic relief. Carol had nothing to prove to him and she realized she was under no obligation to suffer through his abuse, manipulation and lies. The empowerment we see in Carol is not found in her physical dominance of him, but in her assertion of her own worth. She is now in charge of the life he tried to steal.
This movie is the biggest feminist movie of our age so far, because abuse is one of the most common shared experiences among woman in our time. Seeing a woman stand up to her abuser is empowering. Carol did not beat him with her powers, because she always had her powers through the entirety of Yon-rogg's abuses against her. Therefore, we do not identify with her supernatural physical strength. We identify with her mental resilience, depth of emotion, and her ability to ultimately see her inherent worth.
I think this movie is phenomenal. I think everyone should watch it. We as Christians ought to know how much God loves us, but we live in a world where our worth is constantly put into question by others. Finally a movie is communicating what scripture already has been saying. You are not defined by others and how they see you.
Now we need to bring the rest of the message. God loves you, as you are. He sent Christ to die on a cross, so that there would be a way to reconcile the relationship broken by sin. You are loved and worth more than you will know. No one has the ability to remove your worth.
Then, I also read several reviews, by male friends whom I generally share similar opinions about many films, and they were also unimpressed by Captain Marvel. It was shocking for me to read, as my opinion was very different.
While it was not the best stand alone Marvel hero film, I accredited much of that to the difficult sandwiching of the film between Infinity War and Endgame. I may be making large assumptions, but this Captain Marvel movie wasn't about showcasing Captain Marvel primarily, but to introduce certain necessary components of her story and powers, so that her role in Endgame is fleshed out and understood for the casual movie goer.
I was surprised, by how much levity and character development they were able to bring to the table. Antman and Wasp already had a foundation to build from, for their mid Infinity War-Endgame place, but Carol Danver's story exists in this dead space of time in the cinematic universe. They were able to tie her story into the universe we already knew, while providing at least 5 new characters for an audience to be curious about and identify with.
But here is where the problems begins, while a woman finally has a choice of competent women and girls to identify with, it seems men were unable to find that person in this film. Talos was a man who desperately searched the universe for his hidden family. From what we can gleam of him in the film, Talos was unable to protect his family alone, he needed to allow others to help him. Next we have Fury and Coulson. We see both men are at much younger, innocent, and ultimately less powerful points in their lives. While many men want to identify with the older versions of these men, he younger versions of these men are found lacking when compared to their more mature selves.
The final major male character in this film is Yon-rogg. He is a warrior. He is a mentor. And ultimately he is poised in the role of villain. On the surface his villainy is that of a deceiver (like Loki) but not much more than that. His means were bad. His goal was bad. He has killed many people, but it is war time for his people, and while it is unjust, he is just the messenger carrying out the order for his commander, the supreme being. No one wants to associate with the villain, but I think many men are left doing so and it was uncomfortable. (As it should be. Yon-rogg is a scary villain because of how familiar he is)
There is one more significant male role in Carol's life. We don't see him much, but it is her father, and the part he plays is significant. In the frustrating article I read from Gospel Coalition, it argued this:
"As I consider Disney’s new depiction of femininity in Captain Marvel, I cannot help but mourn. How far we’ve come since the days when we sought to protect and cherish our women. The great drumroll of the previous Avenger movies led to this: a woman protecting men and saving the world. The mightiest of all the Avengers — indeed, after whom they are named — is the armed princess turned feminist queen, who comes down from the tower to do what Prince Charming could not."
And
"Unquestionably, men ought support women’s desires to be affirmed, respected, and honored. But indeed, few actions display our resolve to honor our women more than excluding them from the carnage of the battlefield. "
Sir- I can respect your heart for what you are saying. I too believe that men and woman are created equal, but ultimately different. I too believe men are generally called by God to bear the brunt of physical sacrifice of this nature. But her ferocity in the physical war was not the REAL story line. Whether US. Air-force or Kree guard, those battles and wars were secondary plot in this movie.
If you read Psalm 31 you will not see a pretty princess waiting in a tower to be saved. And if you actually look at Carol's life, you will see there were no men willing to be the type of man you are proposing we see. Her father, yelled at her for racing rather than checking to see if she was uninjured. Her go cart flipped over multiple times, her skin was black with burns, dirt and grease and his reaction was anger and not concern. This reaction is common. This reaction is sinful. Protecting a woman from danger is not banning her from the action, but acknowledging that you will willingly going her stead, so she might not have to. Carol went to war, because she had no one willing to do it for her. Many people expect Carol and other women to be sad about this, but she wasn't. Many men are offended by her lack of need of them for protection. **side point addressing some other bible based issues... not so much about the film. As a woman who is a follower of Christ, I do not submit myself to the leadership of sinful men out of my need of their protection. I do so because the Lord has called me to. My submission compliments the growth and redemptive story he is forming in their lives. A wife's submission to her husband, reflects Christ's putting himself under the authority of God the Father, which we see time and time again. Be reminded, Men of God, woman are not biblically expected to cower from danger or to submit to any and every male. To assume you know the role God has intended for someone is a dangerous assumption. Only God knows the full story that is being woven in a person's life. Back to film based conversations** As for the Carol doing what the others couldn't. Your claim is simply speculation as to the climax of Endgame. If I am frank, it is a pretty awful guess as too the ending. As of now, Fury not knowing who was left on his team, called in the only back-up he knew, to help those who were left. How someone makes the jump to her replacing them and diminishing their roles and worth as heroes is beyond my understanding.
I mentioned earlier that there is a real war happening in this film. It is the fight that holds the greatest weight in the film. I believe, it is also what the film makers had intended when referring to Captain Marvel being the "biggest feminist movie of all time." Yon-rogg was always the ultimate villain for this film. Carol Danvers was kidnapped, had her identity stolen from her, and she was mentally berated (on a daily basis) by this man. For 6 years, her identity was given from him and found in him alone. This is not some salvation story, it never was. This is a super hero origin story of abuse and oppression. This is the parallel story of sex trafficking. This is the parallel of domestic abuse. This is the parallel of a majority of women's personal stories. Yon-rogg even injected his own blood into hers, lording it over her as a claim of ownership. That is why the cottage scene was so important. Yon-rogg was parading his status, as an abuser would, to to woman he raped and claimed as his own.
Carol Danvers is not an amazing superhero because she can shoot photon beams and go binary. She is a superhero because she stood face to face with her abuser and won. When Carol punched Yon-rogg in the face during his ranting monologue, she became a hero to woman everywhere. This scene was not inspired by the need for just one more bit of fluffy comedic relief. Carol had nothing to prove to him and she realized she was under no obligation to suffer through his abuse, manipulation and lies. The empowerment we see in Carol is not found in her physical dominance of him, but in her assertion of her own worth. She is now in charge of the life he tried to steal.
This movie is the biggest feminist movie of our age so far, because abuse is one of the most common shared experiences among woman in our time. Seeing a woman stand up to her abuser is empowering. Carol did not beat him with her powers, because she always had her powers through the entirety of Yon-rogg's abuses against her. Therefore, we do not identify with her supernatural physical strength. We identify with her mental resilience, depth of emotion, and her ability to ultimately see her inherent worth.
I think this movie is phenomenal. I think everyone should watch it. We as Christians ought to know how much God loves us, but we live in a world where our worth is constantly put into question by others. Finally a movie is communicating what scripture already has been saying. You are not defined by others and how they see you.
Now we need to bring the rest of the message. God loves you, as you are. He sent Christ to die on a cross, so that there would be a way to reconcile the relationship broken by sin. You are loved and worth more than you will know. No one has the ability to remove your worth.
Monday, January 21, 2019
A Post of Pics
In the time that I have been here there have been many picture, that I have taken and loved, but didn't have much of a reason to share or I was being overly cautious about sharing. I think this mindset has made it difficult for me to share at all. I am actively going to combat this mindset, but please be respectful of the people posted in my pics.
The family I lived with my first few weeks in Korea enjoying a ride at a local theme park.
One of my sweet students while we were picking apples.
Someone was not the happiest with leaving the orchard.
A tunnel of gourds
Cheonggyecheon Stream
A very tenacious goat at our graduation field trip location.
Rebekah and Carrie at Gyeongbokgung Palace in their hanboks.
Class trip to the Aquarium with the 4yr olds.
Waves of the South Sea, looking down from the side of Seongsan Ilchubong.
My "baby" brother and his long flowing locks.
My family horseback riding in Jeju-do.
Becca and I at the Winter Lights Festival at the Garden of the Morning Calm.
Beautiful mushroom lights
The Main Plaza at the garden.
Electric Calla Lilies
Friday, January 4, 2019
Finding Time
I think it is a pretty well known fact that most teachers in Korea have limited and "set in stone" type of vacation. Other than national holidays, we get 5 days in the summer and 5 days in winter. This common pattern leads to a mass exodus of teachers from twice a year, when they finally have time to travel. I am no different last winter, I took some time to travel home, and come next summer, I am planning a very short trip to the US. Because of that, I did not travel back home at Christmas. (My vacation was not over Christmas anyway.) I didn't plan any traveling for this break. I didn't plan anything for my five days of no school.
Do you know what happened?
Nothing. Since I did not plan anything, I did not do anything. While for some that might sound heavenly, to have no plans and to rest and relax for a week, I found myself feeling disappointed. There are so many times I find myself justifying not doing something because "I don't have time", but now that I had ample time, I was still not making the time.
During this season of new promises to ourselves, others and even the Lord, I want to encourage you all to do that thing you don't think you have time for. You have the time. You will have to give up something else that currently occupies that time, but for many of us, what we are sacrificing is 30 mins of scrolling through FB and Instagram or one movie a week. You will probably have to take time to learn what you need to do to accomplish your promise. You may have to change another aspect of your life to actually thrive at what you are doing.
So in an aim to practice what I am learning, I made today a "work" day. I have spent all afternoon at an overpriced, trendy, but ultimately quiet and distraction-less cafe doing simple things like organizing photos from the past year and a half and finally updating this blog. While those are easy and enjoyable to do, if I were to attempt them while at home, I would never finish it. I would become distracted. I struggle to focus in many environments. I probably rode past thousands of cafes on my way here, but those places would not have offered the type of environment that stimulates my creativity without proving a distraction, so I made the extra effort to provide myself a foundation for success. So whether it is your health & diet, a new hobby, your prayer & bible meditation time, or strengthening a relationship, you do actually have the time for it.
My wonderfully secluded corner at "EverythingButTheHero". I will say, I am a bit disappointed, with that name, I fully expected to see sandwiches on this menu, just not a hero.
Coffee. Really good and yet still very much overpriced. Worth it for the space though.
Thursday, September 13, 2018
Originally I was going to wait to post again, until life had settled back into a normal rhythm, but I realized many people have been praying and waiting for an update.
The Lord has provided a new position for me inside of Seoul. Full time. Housing provided. Reasonable hours. It is definitely an answered prayer.
When I have told people where I am moving to, the reactions have been pretty mixed. I am moving to the northern part Seoul, to a neighborhood called Eunpyeong-gu. Eunpyeong-gu is closer and officially in Seoul, but it is a much older area than Suji-gu, where I previously lived. People expressed enthusiasm, nervousness, sadness, and even joy. I am also feeling all of those emotions. I am moving away from friends and neighborhoods that I know and enjoy well, to a whole new community, filled with a much different demographic than the one I have left. For me this was one of the aspects I worried about the most, because I tend to build relationships slowly. I want to be apart of the community not just surrounded by it. So it feels a bit like being a plant being re-potted over and over again. But I am also happy about the opportunity to grow and build new relationships here. I am closer to friends and church. I can join events and activities without worrying about trying to find a way home. There is so much potential about where God has moved me.
I officially started working at the school yesterday and I will take over the teaching on Monday. It is never easy to take over a class in the middle of the year, and this will be the second time, is as many years, that I have had to do just that. The routines and patterns established by teachers, students and parents may all change a bit, and there is going to be a bit of struggle in that. All in all, everyone has been very kind and accepting, just very busy.
Truthfully, I am not yet excited about this situation. I think the reason for my solemness is, in part, to this process being taken mostly from my grasp. I did not feel ready to leave my former position. By the time I was informed that I did have to find a new job, I had no time to research and settle my own mind and heart. I have for a long time struggled with my own desire to dictate what I can in my life. It developed as a coping and self -preservation method from my childhood. But I am still alarmed when I see how deep this trait has rooted itself into my personality. My goal in this next month is to develop and maintain a true excited nature for what this new home and job (new teachers & new students).
The Lord has provided a new position for me inside of Seoul. Full time. Housing provided. Reasonable hours. It is definitely an answered prayer.
When I have told people where I am moving to, the reactions have been pretty mixed. I am moving to the northern part Seoul, to a neighborhood called Eunpyeong-gu. Eunpyeong-gu is closer and officially in Seoul, but it is a much older area than Suji-gu, where I previously lived. People expressed enthusiasm, nervousness, sadness, and even joy. I am also feeling all of those emotions. I am moving away from friends and neighborhoods that I know and enjoy well, to a whole new community, filled with a much different demographic than the one I have left. For me this was one of the aspects I worried about the most, because I tend to build relationships slowly. I want to be apart of the community not just surrounded by it. So it feels a bit like being a plant being re-potted over and over again. But I am also happy about the opportunity to grow and build new relationships here. I am closer to friends and church. I can join events and activities without worrying about trying to find a way home. There is so much potential about where God has moved me.
I officially started working at the school yesterday and I will take over the teaching on Monday. It is never easy to take over a class in the middle of the year, and this will be the second time, is as many years, that I have had to do just that. The routines and patterns established by teachers, students and parents may all change a bit, and there is going to be a bit of struggle in that. All in all, everyone has been very kind and accepting, just very busy.
Truthfully, I am not yet excited about this situation. I think the reason for my solemness is, in part, to this process being taken mostly from my grasp. I did not feel ready to leave my former position. By the time I was informed that I did have to find a new job, I had no time to research and settle my own mind and heart. I have for a long time struggled with my own desire to dictate what I can in my life. It developed as a coping and self -preservation method from my childhood. But I am still alarmed when I see how deep this trait has rooted itself into my personality. My goal in this next month is to develop and maintain a true excited nature for what this new home and job (new teachers & new students).
Monday, September 3, 2018
Finding Home (Take 2)
I am sitting back in my favorite coffee shop, this hidden oasis in the middle of Seoul, frustrated, tired and looking towards a very different immediate future here in Korea.
We were notified on Thursday, after lunch, that our school would be closing permanently after the next days classes. This is after being assured a couple of weeks before that we would absolutely not be closing. In the midst of all of this, I still had to move, but now with no warning, I now had no where to move into. Thursday evening was a bad night, filled with tears and prayers; desperate supplications to the Lord for a brief insight into his reasoning and the need for that moment.
In the days since, the Lord has brought much peace and even some clarity, leaving me in a place to finally be able to share a little bit.
I honestly have no idea what life is going to look like moving forward. I have had several interviews and have even more scheduled. I feel like this is a time for healing and rest, but also a chance for growth. Even with the many problems and issues surrounding my former school, I was truly blessed to be there. I was able to be at a Christian school, where people genuinely loved the Lord, each other and their students. In the short time away from this school, I have seen that is not the norm around Korea. In the past few interviews I have experienced, Directors would continuously try to discredit and insult my former school, but in a way that also was a discredit and an insult to myself and our other teachers. The financial status of the parents at the school was directory brought up and compared in interviews (many times, the directors are speaking of their own views here, with no knowledge of the families from the other school.) My first reaction was to be turned away. I do not share those views. I do not rate the importance or potential of a person by their acquired world wealth. As I pray and think over the situation more, I do see the potential mission field that lays before me.
Before moving to Korea, I was well informed of how the education system worked here, like a micro-system of the grander socio-culture of Korea, "money equals power". I hated it. I had no desire to exist in that abusive environment. Ultimately it is an environment that directly feeds into what is the highest youth and young adult suicide rate in modern society. If the Lord was bringing me to Korea as a teacher, I wanted to teach the neglected and forgotten. I wanted to work with orphans. When I arrived, I realized that is not where the Lord was putting me. He put me in a very wealthy neighborhood, where parents would peacock around each other, often trying to one up each other. In that time I learned to love these families. To see them through the eyes of the Lord. Seeing their fears and insecurities. Learning many of them have never heard the Gospel, the good news of the Lord, because people only approached them for their status. And now I may have the opportunity to work in a community where status is often equated to worship status. And this school, unlike my last is not a Christian school. They willingly feed into this monstrous lie that money equals worth. It turns my stomach thinking about it. But then I remembered Jonah. I am pronouncing judgement on this school and these kids. If I am offered this job, then I will go joyfully and in deep prayer. That like Nineveh, who heard the Word of God and repented of their sin, those who are currently not currently following and loving the Lord and each other will also hear the Word of God and repent. I do not want to make the same selfish mistakes of Jonah. These people are not my enemies, but are the mission field.
I don't know for certain if this is where the Lord is going to send me. I have no answers in that regard yet. I am just as curious as you. But I do know that I am in the Lord's hand, and he is leading and directing this time in my life. I have so much to be thankful for:
- Unexpected Rest- My last position was exhausting, and it had absolutely no time for breaks. I spent most of my free time working and prepping for my next class. I am trying not to take advantage of this time of rest, or extend it irresponsibly. With my family visiting, I would be thankful if I could extend it until Chuseok, but if that is not the Lord's will, then I will happily head back to work sooner.
- Living Space - I am effectively homeless. Yet, I am living with an elderly Christian couple in what may be one of the largest Korean apartments, that I have ever seen. They willingly and lovingly took me (and the entire contents of my apartment) in, because their friend mentioned my need. The Lord answered and fulfilled my need in a completely unexpected and most gracious way. My hope is to find a new permanent place by Chuseok. While they are gracious, I also want to be conscious of their situation. I am sure they will need the room back, if their family visits for the holiday.
- Study Time - I have not had an opportunity to work on my Korean since I moved here. I would say my skills have weakened instead of improved. I want to use this time to study and grow in my ability to use the language.
Wednesday, August 15, 2018
Finding Home
I have lived in the same "small" city for almost all of my life. A large portion of my extensive family has also lived in or around the same city as well. I have built many relationships there. This close knit life filled with a densely interwoven network of relationships was all I knew. I thought this was what life and relationships were life for most of the world. I was unaware of how rare it can be.
I knew moving to South Korea would be hard. The friendships and ties I had built up over 30+ years in the states, would for the most part be left behind, with almost no connection between the former community and the new one I was moving to. I was excited. I was scared. Mostly, I was ready to find and begin building a life and joining this community here in South Korea.
In my first year, I have learned the community that I long for, may not yet exist here. You see, some of the things I long for the most, are not common here. In the states, it was common for my community to share a meal together, inside someone's home; mine, theirs, it really didn't matter. I had regularly been invited into the homes of a majority of my friends. Dinners, game or movie nights, bonfires and the like are all commonplace in the States. Since I have been to Korea, I have been invited over to someone's house twice. Both were for very specific one time events, and both were involved directly with a church related activity. It is just does not seem to be apart of the culture to invite others into your home. People still long to hangout and build relationships over meals and games; but it is almost always out of the house. One aspect of this is cafe culture. Korea is known for it's cafe culture. Board game cafes, cat cafes, and garden cafes are common. You can not walk down the road without seeing at least one cafe. For me, I love quiet and unknown coffee shops, where I can plug in my computer and work happily un-bothered by a rush of changing people. I use cafes to work, because I like to keep my home space open for hosting and inviting others over. Basically the opposite of the culture here.
So I have been learning, stretching my wings a bit, intentionally meeting and socializing over a late evening cup of tea in local cafe. Working to embrace new culture I have chosen to make live my life in. It has been enjoyable thus far, but truthfully a bit draining. With the stress of the past couple of weeks, I had desperately needed something that felt like "home" here, since I could no longer depend on even my living situation to provide that momentarily. I needed something and the Lord provided. In the midst of the struggle, I wandered into a cafe off the beaten path, that feels just a bit like home. Murals on the walls, English oldies playing, plants in every corner, and even a couple of pet birds in the middle of the space that randomly like to sing at you. It is exactly what I needed.
I still don't know what the future holds. We will hopefully know more details on Friday about the status of my current place of employment, and I will make a choice then. Housing concerns will follow after that. Either way, I am moving at the end of the month, which means a busy couple of weeks packing up my apartment. No matter what happens, I am thankful that the Lord had me exactly were I was for my first year in Korea. I am excited to see what the future holds and what moving forward will look like when all is said and done. Until then, I am thankful for this little space in central Seoul that feels like home when nothing else does.
I knew moving to South Korea would be hard. The friendships and ties I had built up over 30+ years in the states, would for the most part be left behind, with almost no connection between the former community and the new one I was moving to. I was excited. I was scared. Mostly, I was ready to find and begin building a life and joining this community here in South Korea.
In my first year, I have learned the community that I long for, may not yet exist here. You see, some of the things I long for the most, are not common here. In the states, it was common for my community to share a meal together, inside someone's home; mine, theirs, it really didn't matter. I had regularly been invited into the homes of a majority of my friends. Dinners, game or movie nights, bonfires and the like are all commonplace in the States. Since I have been to Korea, I have been invited over to someone's house twice. Both were for very specific one time events, and both were involved directly with a church related activity. It is just does not seem to be apart of the culture to invite others into your home. People still long to hangout and build relationships over meals and games; but it is almost always out of the house. One aspect of this is cafe culture. Korea is known for it's cafe culture. Board game cafes, cat cafes, and garden cafes are common. You can not walk down the road without seeing at least one cafe. For me, I love quiet and unknown coffee shops, where I can plug in my computer and work happily un-bothered by a rush of changing people. I use cafes to work, because I like to keep my home space open for hosting and inviting others over. Basically the opposite of the culture here.
So I have been learning, stretching my wings a bit, intentionally meeting and socializing over a late evening cup of tea in local cafe. Working to embrace new culture I have chosen to make live my life in. It has been enjoyable thus far, but truthfully a bit draining. With the stress of the past couple of weeks, I had desperately needed something that felt like "home" here, since I could no longer depend on even my living situation to provide that momentarily. I needed something and the Lord provided. In the midst of the struggle, I wandered into a cafe off the beaten path, that feels just a bit like home. Murals on the walls, English oldies playing, plants in every corner, and even a couple of pet birds in the middle of the space that randomly like to sing at you. It is exactly what I needed.
I still don't know what the future holds. We will hopefully know more details on Friday about the status of my current place of employment, and I will make a choice then. Housing concerns will follow after that. Either way, I am moving at the end of the month, which means a busy couple of weeks packing up my apartment. No matter what happens, I am thankful that the Lord had me exactly were I was for my first year in Korea. I am excited to see what the future holds and what moving forward will look like when all is said and done. Until then, I am thankful for this little space in central Seoul that feels like home when nothing else does.
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