The bible is filled with stories of God working in the lives of broken women and men. Just as he was not finished working in their lives, he is not done working in ours.
Today Eugene Cho came to visit and to preach at Jubilee. During his sermon (John 21:1-14) he told us of a story from his past. As a young and new followat of Christ, he would call upon God to show him what God's plan was for his life. He prayed about everything; his major, future career, his potential wife. Like many of us, in his desperate cry to the Lord, he was expecting a semi-immediate and remarkably clear response from God. He didn't get that. He then began to share some of the hardships and frustrating times that he experienced since praying those prayers. As he spoke, you could hear the heartbreak, but also the growth those moments brought. He then admitted to the congregation, that if God had answered his prayers, in the manner he had wanted them answered, he would have given up everything then and there. God left him in the dark on his future, because the Lord loved him, and his promise was to be with him.
For some reason this sermon and story has stuck with me, more than anything else. This is such a near and dear aspect to my relationship with the Lord, yet it was always difficult to put into words or even a coherent thought. Throughout my life, God has rarely ever shown me the full picture of what is to come. My imagination is big, but I can't begin to predict how the Lord is going to move and direct my path, ever.
When my heart first started to stir for Korea and my mind began to imagine what moving there would look like, God called me to join a church plant, August Gate. It was not on my radar. To be quite honest, I broke down in tears upon the realization that was where he was calling me, not Korea, and not the other church plant that had been on my radar. The Lord grew me and I thrived while apart of AG. I began to pursue a "settled life" in STL, loving Korea from afar and living among the Korean-American community in STL, and pursuing a long term career that would allow that. God shut so many doors during that time. It was difficult, extremely difficult, but God was faithful and he was with me every step of the way. "You are not forsaken. You are not alone. I have a good and perfect plan for you."
It has been 2 years since God moved me to Korea. For many expats I meet, that is as long as they want to stay, so it is a bit shocking to them when I exclaim that I have no desire to return to the US.
I moved to Korea with the idea on my heart that this was my new home for life. I also moved to Korea confident that God's plans are bigger than my own. For a while, my biggest fear was not having the ease of permanent stability here in Korea. I am not ethnically Korean, therefore, I am not granted the hospitality to stay and explore life here. I am granted the right to live here because I have proven I have something to offer. Truthfully, rather than feeling appreciated, it often leaves me deeply offended. I have to fight that frustration and offense daily. I have to remember the amazing and wonder people I have met and have grown to love here. I have to remember that governments exist to protect their citizens, so the offensive laws are not personal against me,but were derived to protect those I came to serve. I have to remember I was called here by the Lord. Me working as a teacher is all apart of God's perfect plan. I have to remember that God is not done with me or the story he is writing through my life. I hope, if you are reading this, you can remember that also. God is still working. Christ is alive! You are loved!
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