Sunday, November 5, 2017

Widows and Orphans

I have been thinking a lot about the church's call to serve widows and orphans. What makes someone a widow? How about an orphan?
This started from a post from a celebrity here in Korea, who is a known Christian, who posted on Instagram about world hunger and joining Unicef in helping to end world hunger. I began thinking about how often I see celebrity's joining with projects like Unicef, but never posting about the need or the programs here in their own nation. So I began to ask why?
While I can not speak for these celebrities, I do know Korea does take care of their orphan's until the age of 18, so maybe many assume there is no need.
But does an orphan stop being an orphan at 18?
I think for a long time, I believed, and maybe even was taught, that God calls the church to care for the poor and weak and to care for those who will struggle to care for themselves, because of their neediness.  If I use that mindset to lead my loving and caring for orphans and widows, the call becomes very specific; I can limit this call to love and serve to a mostly financial burden that needs to be met. But if we spend even a minute dwelling in the Word of God; we see God, who is all powerful, to whom all things belong, calling his Church to love and serve orphans and widows. If the Lord can provide quails and manna to the Israelites in the desert, then I can know that point of the Church being called to love orphans and widows is not primarily a resource and financial call.

So then, what need is God calling us to meet?
I fully believe, God has called the church to love the widows and orphans because they are alone, and it is not good. When God created existence as we perceive it, he called all in his creation good, all but one thing. Even in a pre-sin creation, God knew and claimed that is is not good for man to be alone. (Gen 2:18) We can confidently claim that the Lord does not want nor intend for man to live in isolation and that family is a gift to man from God the Father. Thinking on that, while reading verses like this: "Honor widows who are truly widows. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God. She who is truly a widow, left all alone, has set her hope on God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day..." 1st Timothy 5:3-5
Just as we in the Church are to value and strive for biblical community, becoming one in mind and spirit, being one family as adopted children of God; I believe we are to serve widows and orphans as family would serve one another.

So Church, lets continue on, loving and serving widows and orphans. But, let us not stop after providing financial support, but let that be the start. May we strive to draw those without families into our own families and communities, pointing them to Christ along the way, showing them his love and design for their lives. May we stop believing the lies that an adult cannot be an orphan or that a financially stable widow does not need the service and love of the church. Let's do better Church.

Sunday, October 29, 2017

Regret

My day started with the notification that it was my aunt's birthday. This is the first one since she passed away, so I cried and mourned and then prepared to go about my day... it is Sunday, so to church. I thought that I would be OK. I wasn't. I cried all day; At lunch, during the sermon, even in general conversation. I wasn't overwhelmed with sadness or sobbing uncontrollably, but somehow today, every conversation lead back to thoughts of her and missing her. By the time I was preparing to leave church, I was emotionally exhausted and had planned to spend some time reading and studying the Word.
As I was leaving, a group of folks from the church who I didn't really know mass invited everyone to go to dinner. There are 10+ people, and I had only been introduced to one of them, once, like a month ago... so basically all strangers all going to get food in a city where I am "allergic" to like half of it... basically my worst nightmare. So, understandably I pass on the invitation and begin walking towards the coffee shop. 
Less than a minute later, I know confidently, that I had made a mistake. I was overwhelmed by the conviction of the Holy Spirit. For weeks now, I have been praying for a stronger biblical community. Even that morning, I had prayed for it. Not just for myself, but the church as a whole, because it is such a struggle here in Korea. But I was so focused on my own plans, and fulfilling my "needs", that I completely missed an opportunity given to me from the Lord.
So, my study time began with a lengthy time of repentance and prayer for future interactions with all of the people I avoided this afternoon. And I share this, in hopes that anyone reading does not make the same mistake of ignoring the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I was looking for the Lord to answer my prayer in a specific way, assuming that I would be at my best, and not my worst when the opportunity came. Spending time studying God's word is one of the most important things I get to do in my day,  but at that moment I made it an excuse.

Saturday, October 21, 2017

Catching Up

“If there were no eternal consciousness in a man, if at the bottom of everything there were only a wild ferment, a power that twisting in dark passions produced everything great or inconsequential; if an unfathomable, insatiable emptiness lay hid beneath everything, what would life be but despair?”  -Søren Kierkegaard 
I was finally able to join a small group at Jubilee. Every small group is going through the same book, Celebration of Discipline, which is focusing on learning more about spiritual disciplines. Last week, one of the other ladies in our group mentioned she was disappointed to not be doing a bible study together,  which finished with us planning to add a study of Ecclesiastes. One chapter every week, with 4 different ladies leading a text beaded discussion of what we were learning. I created a brief  introduction to the book (ESV Study Bible condensed down a bit), but forgot to include general study ideas suggestions. I decided for myself I would follow the "Inductive Bible Study Method" that AG is using as they study Daniel, and I would apply it to Ecclesiastes. As I was going through chapter 1, I remembered "Fear and Trembling" by Kierkegaard, and noticed a similar thought process among Kierkegaard and "the Preacher".  I feel like ultimately both ending similar conclusions, the striving of man hold no inherent value or worth.... both man's worth as well as the value of his actions are found in God alone.
Pray for our small group as we go through Ecclesiastes, it can be a time of great growth for the group as a whole as they learn to study in one of the more difficult books of Scripture to study, or it could overwhelm them and cause a fear of study.

I wanted to share a few pics here also.  Many of these end up on my instagram, but not everyone uses that SMS.































All of these pics are from when I visited the Changgyeonggung and Changdeokgung palaces over Chuseok (which was extra long this year). The palace grounds are adjoining, so it was difficult to keep track of which images came from which palace.

Saturday, October 14, 2017

It is really difficult to update regularly and for that I am sorry. Last Sunday I attempted to write a post, but really felt like I had nothing to say, and in the end it remained an unpublished draft.
And in fact, I have another post saved that I am not sure if I will or can post... because it is something that needs to be addressed in prayer and action first before sharing it publicly.

That is a lot of vagueness to simply communicate that I am thinking of everyone who reads this, even if my posts are few and far between. When I started this, it was supposed to be lighthearted but every week, I feel more and more dramatic. I think that is a risk and reality of moving halfway around the world as a missionary; Everyday I see more and more need for Christ in this city and Nation.


Sunday, October 1, 2017

Loving Orphans

Before moving to Seoul, a lot of conversations looked like this;
Others: "Do you want to teach?"
Me: "No, but it is where the Lord is leading me right now."
O: "What do you want to do?"
M: "I would love to teach English to orphans."

I knew long before moving to Korea that being an orphan came with a stigma and hardships that are not as intense in the US. My heart was moved, even then, to move towards loving the orphans here in Korea. When the Lord brought me to Korea, I trusted that he brought me where I was for a reason, but I honestly could not see any big picture as I continues to trust him, and began piecing my life here together. Finally, I am beginning to get a clearer vision as to what the future may possibly hold. This weekend I was introduced to the Jerusalem Ministry, and their program the Oak Tree Project. Jerusalem Ministry is an organization here in Seoul, that is focused on loving and serving the orphans of Korea, starting here in Seoul, then the rest of South Korea, then eventually the many orphans in North Korea... and hopefully to the ends of the earth after that. Oak Tree Project is an answer to an immediate need of orphans here in Seoul. Children raised in orphanages at 18 are basically abandoned by the state to be adults. They are given a small stipend to get set up with an apartment and job, but all other emotional and financial support is basically removed from their lives. Many struggle to make ends meet, fall into deep depression, and fall prey to the false promises of gang life or prostitution. You see, those are the "jobs" that don't fire someone for being an orphan. Family means quite a bit here on the Korean peninsula, and so where someone finds out you do not have one, you become easy target for those who strive to exert their power over others. I have already heard stories of women preyed upon by a boss with inappropriate sexual advances once he learned she was an orphan and another who was told to break up with her "pastor's son" boyfriend, because she, as an orphan, did not match him in social status. THIS WAS THE GIRL'S PASTOR! These were the stories fit to be shared in a public way. There are many more darker and painful moments that hurt to much to share with others. That is the reality for these kids. Now imagine this life, but you also have also been accepted into University. You now have to work full time to survive and hopefully have enough for tuition while combating all of the other hurdles surrounding you. This is where Oak Tree Project strives to begin change. Oak Tree Project is a scholarship program that provides tuition (and living expenses I believe) so students can be students and focus on learning. Most importantly, they provide each student a dedicated mentor who loves Jesus, who has committed to call these students at least once a week to check up on them, and to invite them over for a home cooked meal once a month.

Every day, I get to see the struggle of friends who are foster parents or who have adopted their children, and daily fight to overcome the scars and pain their children have fro,m having been an orphan. Just thinking about 18 year olds, who have never really known or been shown that love, finding themselves in this new mentor/student relationship is  overwhelming. They must be so scared. If you are reading this, then pray for these students and their mentors. Pray for more mentors to step up. Pray for more financial support. I am sure there are applicant's who are able to qualify for the scholarship due to a lack of resources... Wouldn't it be amazing if that was not the case... that the support for these students always exceeded the need. Currently, I am praying about how the Lord is calling me to act. As mentors need to be fluent in Korean, I am not fit to serve as a mentor... does this mean spending the next few years supporting from afar with prayer and learning the language better? Does this mean serving in some other way? I don't know yet. But join me in prayer in the very least.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

So let's talk about community. Specifically biblical community.  I miss it.

The Lord has brought me to a fantastic Church here in Seoul, Jubilee Seoul Church, but if I am honest, EVERY single Sunday is more painful than joyful, because my heart misses the community at August Gate. Even this morning, my prayer was that the Lord grow me in community here, and lessen the longing for the things that had to be sacrificed to obey God and move to Korea. I feel like I finally have an inkling of understanding regarding Paul always writing about longing to see believers whom he left behind.

I am well aware building community can take time, but the void and lack is so very obvious and present that my heart strives to fill it. Pray for patience and wisdom as I join with a new community. That I would abide in the Lord's leading on where to serve and what small groups to join.

And to AG folks, Y'ALL can text me! My American phone number is still active and should not cost you anything beyond the ordinary because it is a local US number... if that changes, I will make sure to say so... but for the foreseeable future it does not cost a thing to contact me, even just to say hello.

And on the rare and off chance you are in Seoul and attend Jubilee; find me and say hello.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Are you reading?

I am gonna be honest here, it is really difficult to stay motivated to regularly updated this blog. So, if you are reading this, please let me know. Right now it feels as if I am talking to an empty void.
I don't know if I mentioned before, but our school hired a new teacher, Angela, who arrived last night. Pray for her as she gets adjusted to her new life in Korea and the chaos that is teaching in all English with all Korean students in Korea.
I think I have found a church here in Seoul that I am going to begin regularly attending (i.e. join their version of Gospel Communities). Today will only be my 2nd time visiting, but I found myself referencing it as "my church" and the few hesitations  I have are based on open-handed theological issues. God has over and over brought this church into my line of vision when looking for a congregation here in Seoul to be apart of. I will make a separate post about the Church later.

Back to work talk, this week was good, but also illuminating. One of my student'  exhibits bad behavior. While chatting with my boss,I realized we have VERY different ideas about discipline and behavior. She seems to pair behavior and personality together. She actually said "we can't expect her behavior to change". Y'all, I almost fell out of my chair. A large part of my life has been working with kids to change their behavior. I expect EVERY single child to change their behavior, it is called maturity. I do not expect her personalitiy to change. This child is sweet but also emotionally scarred from a past trauma. She is defensive about her space and single-minded (what ever she perceives as most important in that moment will retain ALL of her attention)... as I learn her personality more and more, I get to adjust how we interact and what her discipline looks like. The last two days of school were sooooo good you guys. No major fits or displays of willful disobedience. Legitimate answered prayers.

While I was reading Scripture this morning, I was in 2 Corinthians and I came across this verse:
"For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many." -2 Corinthians 1:8-11

First, this is not a cry for help, I promise. But throughout history, Asia has been a difficult, dangerous, and even deadly place to bring the Gospel too. Paul felt those emotions. I want to say so much on this,but do not have time before church service starts. I love being here. I am where God has called me to be. But I think if we are honest, God is calling a lot more of his people to go out, but because it is so much more comfortable not to, we ignore his call. The whole first part of 2 Corinthians is about both sufferings and comfort, it is amazing, read it.

Love you all. Here are pics of tasty food!

Bingsu

Tteok


Kimchi pancake




Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Prayer requests and updates

I feel like there is so much happening lately, but when I actually stop to reflect, it is more that living is a new sort of different and honestly almost nothing of concequence is happening. The biggest news of the week is that my INTERNET is FINALLY is working in my apartment. So I will hopefully be less detached from both the US and Korean happenings. Still waiting for my ARC, so no phone (Korean) or bank account (Korean), hopefully by sometime next week those will be taken care of as well.
On a typical Korean Tuesday, I would be getting home from work and planning dinner, but today is special; It is LIBERATION DAY here in Korea. As it is a national holiday, I have they day off of work, and have used today as a day of recuperation. (I am tired all the time. While, I would like to blame it on the stress of work and moving, I honestly believe it is because I have the most uncomfortable mattress I have ever slept on for a bed. While I am thankful for a place to sleep, I struggle to get good sleep lately.)

Friends who have graciously asked about life and prayer requests, thank you. I am sorry if I seem distant or shallow in my response. I am generally overwhelmed by the amount of prayer I, and my fellow teachers are in need of. I am generally spared from to much interaction with the parents of my students, which means my co-teacher is generally thrust into the path of all parent complaints or frustrations. This past week a mother when confronted with her own child's misbehavior, turned the situation around, blaming the Korean teacher and myself, going so far to say that the other teacher was not married because of her abilities and would not be a good teacher until she had children of her own. (For the record, her daughter intentionally kicked another student who climbed under the desktop retrieve something) When someone makes grand illogical assumptions and conclusions, I can generally ignore them, but my co-teacher was deeply hurt, so much so, I thought she might turn in her resignation. Losing her in our class would be devastating. While our personalities and teaching styles are very different, we both work and operate out of love for our students and a desire to see them succeed, and my teaching would suffer greatly without her.
I have been blessed with a class of 7 yr old girls. They have strong emotions and opinions, deep frustrations about being misunderstood. They are expected, some for the first time, to have real responsibilities away from home (like classwork). They can usually forgive quickly, which is good because they get hurt quickly.  Their parents long to protect them from everything still, but generally have to entrust a large portion of their child's day into out hands. So while my class struggles to get used to being full time students and not preschoolers, I have noticed their parents are also learning and struggling to learn how to handle this time in their child's life.
Most of my students and their parents are not Christians,they chose our school because it teaches in English only. My prayer is that my students, would hear and learn the truth of the Gospel, and not just English.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Four Sundays In

It has been nearly 6 weeks since my last update (though I just published the last update today)... I am in Korea. In fact I have been here for 3 weeks (but 4 Sundays). It is amazing. It is exhausting. When people asked who and what I was teaching a few weeks ago, I did not have an answer... now I know. I am teaching 7 yr olds (for now, all girls) all of the subjects, except Art and Music, and I am teaching in English. Before anyone asks; Yes, I have students who do not speak English,and yes it is horribly frustrating. I have already finished my first week of solo teaching, as I am finishing the semester for the teacher I am replacing.
I am sorry for not being able to keep everyone updated with life. My first 2 weeks in Seoul, I was blessed to be at an Air BnB with the sweetest family, and was able to use their Internet a bit... but for the last week I have been reletively Internet less. While I have it at work, there is no downtime right now as I am getting my bearings, so I am relegated to my ultra week data signal (my neighborhood is a new development, so infrastructure is there, but not like in Seoul) or to sitting in cafes and using their wifi...which is mighty expensive all the time.
The good news is.... I have free texting here in South Korea (it is a benefit of our current family plan in the states, so it will eventually be going away) So feel free to text anytime!
The church hunt is still onging, but stalled due to lack of Internet. I found a church that actually preaches the Word, which is more rare than you might think. I really like it, but it takes about 90mins, 3 subway transfers, and a mile uphill walk to get to... So I am looking for somewhere closer that may allow for easier community and fellowship since 3 hrs of travel for a community group during the week is probably not happening... please pray for me. That I would hear and listen to God's will and not my own in this.
Love you all,
Brei

Support

Last year, our family was blessed with the opportunity to spend two weeks in South Korea, at the end of the trip I was certain that God was calling me to move and teach there. One of the first things I did was to come home and make a plan. It was going to be a lot of work and take longer than I wanted, but I figured I would be able to move by late 2018 maybe early 2019. Obviously that was not what God had in mind. God took every resource I believed I had and cast it aside, and called me to rely upon the support of those he had put in my life. This move to Korea is not about what I am capable of, but it is yet another instance when God can show his faithfulness and power in a situation that seems impossible. When I was uncomfortable asking for support, in pursuit of this move, God was faithful to move in the hearts of friends, to not only support me but to push me in the directions I was afraid to take alone. The most recent instance of God faithfully providing for the things he has called me to took place a few weeks ago. In a matter of days, I went from not being sure if I could apply for job for this semester to accepting a position in Gyeonggi-do. All of a sudden, I had to not only get tons of paperwork approved by the government, but I had to get it all expedited as quickly as possible. This meant needing and spending lots of money which I did not have, nor did my family, though they sacrificially gave so much with not guarantee of repayment from my end.

In brain-storming possible fundraisers, I thought about setting up some sort of photo shoot/mini-session but struggled with what the logistics of planning such a large event last minute, while still working on the paperwork side of the move. My dear friend Emily, hearing my thoughts took charge and organized in a matter of days "Snap & Send", a photography fundraiser at our church. Without the support of August Gate, I would not have been able to make this move. The financial, emotional and spiritual support from my church family has been irreplaceable in this move. While this post became more emotional than I had originally intended; I wanted to share some of the pics from the event with everyone.












             


















*friends, if your picture was used and you would rather it not be, please message or text me. I will take it down ASAP. I tried to get everyone'should permission, but I know there are people I missed asking.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

What's in a Name

I am sure that if you are reading this blog, then you have also asked, "What is Saejib?"
When I began writing this blog, I wanted a title that signified what this move meant, but was also unique enough to reflect some of who I am. The name itself is derived from two different Korean words.
새 - sae; new
집 - jib; house
This is a new adventure for me. I am, for the first time in my life, moving away from Saint Louis. It can be a bit scary to think about honestly. Moving to a new house signifies so much for a person. Obviously, some moves are reletively easy, while others are devistatingly difficult. There is a throwing off of the old and an embracing of the new that must happen for someone to thrive in their new home. If all you think and dream about is what you had to give up, you will struggle to see and appreciate what the new home is offering. While fear is natural and common, my reaction to it is always a choice, so I am choosing to celebrate the newness and not hide or avoid it. As a Christ follower, my reaction to fear holds a greater weight, because it directly reflects my trust in the promises of the Lord. I am moving to South Korea because that is where I feel called to be. For every question, fear and even doubt related to this move, the Lord has answered my prayers concerning them. While I still struggle against the worry, surrounding the finding of a community of believers and a church body to join in Korea, I also have confidence the Lord will answer those prayers (my worry tends to focus on my own reaction.)
That is the story and meaning behind the name of my blog. Pretty basic and simple except for the special piece of information I left out. You see 새 actually has a second meaning.
새 -sae; bird
I made the choice years ago to choose to love the name I was born with, so being able to keep it and highlight it is always special for me. So, as much as 새 exists in this blog to signify the new, it also stands to signify all that God has done in my life to make me into the person I am.

Friday, May 19, 2017

The Beginning of a New Adventure

I am moving to Korea.
Some of the details are still up in the air, but it looks like I will be moving to Gyeonggi-do, in an area about an hour ride from the heart of Seoul.  
I wanted to create a space that allows easy and free communication with all of my friends in the states. While the process can move rapidly, I do not think anyone planned for it to move as quickly as it has. It has been a little over 2 weeks since I let my church community know I had finished my TEFL class and would be pursuing a position starting this fall. I already have a job offer on the table and am waiting to hear back from another in a few days. From there I will finalize my decision and truly begin the labor intensive process of saying goodbye to the only home I have ever known. 

This move has been a very long time coming. Looking at it now, over the course of how God has moved in my life, it feels like the culmination of over 15 years of prayer and learning. I am sure looking back in another 15 yrs, I will be able to see how this is actually just another moment that God used to bring me closer to him. Missions has always been close to my heart. During University God began to open my definition of what it could mean and look like to reach all nations, sharing the Gospel to the ends of the earth. I had had a narrow view of what Missions was. I viewed it as moving to a region that had no access to scripture. Included in that was the faulty stereotype often found in western churches of poor or uneducated nations and regions of this world. God began to challenge my view and definition of what an "Un-reached People Group" meant. Can someone feel called to missions, but feel called not to an "un-reached" people group by the classic definition? 
During the past 10 years God has kept me in the local church, specifically urban church plants, and during that time I have seen that we in the US live our daily lives among un-reached peoples. Sure, many of our neighbors have heard the story of Jesus' birth at Christmas or of his death at Easter... but for many of them, that is all they know of Christ, and they view those stories as work of fiction and tradition. Christianity is viewed en mass as following a set of restrictive rules and making others do the same. How many of our neighbors have heard that God loves them, but our sin separates us from him, so he sent Jesus, his son, to live a perfect life and to die as a replacement for the death that is the natural consequence of our sin and Christ took the burden of our sin upon himself? Do your neighbors who know you are a Christian know that is who you are and what you mean when you call yourself a Christian? Do they know you share the Gospel with them because you love them? I think we have, possibly in order to feel better about ourselves, ignored the reality that most of the "developed" world can be included among those who have not heard the Gospel. 
Several years ago, when God called me to join August Gate as it was being planted in Soulard, I would have assumed that was where he was calling me long term. I had every intention of finding a career and moving to the city. Eight years later, that had never once been God's plan for my life. 
In fact the only time he allowed me to have a comfortable full-time position, was when I committed to traveling to South Korea with my family. God, specifically used that trip to ease some fears and to plant a seed of compassion for students and young children in Korea. I do not know if I would be moving there now if not for that trip. 

If you are reading this, can I ask that you pray for me, for this move, and for the people I will meet. I view this as a lifelong mission trip. While my contract is only a year long, I do not intend to move back to the states (unless God would suddenly call me to). There is a need for people who love God and love people to be in Korea and in their schools. The number one cause of death among young adults is suicide. It is difficult to communicate and express the amount of stress and pressure placed on these students and young workers. It seems that both believers and non-alike seem to struggle to find their worth in their grades, resumes, and jobs... I can not imagine facing the weight of the expectation with out having a right view of who I am in Christ. I have so much hope for what Christ is doing in that corner of the world. S. Korea is surrounded by nations that have not supported or allowed for Christianity freely in their nation. Pray for the believers in Korea; for brothers and sisters in Christ, both future and current. 

I hope to write often, even if it is a short blurb about what is happening in my life and what God is doing. 
Love you all,
Brei
* Look for pictures too! It is actually the method I feel most comfortable sharing through.

Sungnyemun Gate at Namdaemun



Ceiling mural of Sungnyemun 


Elders sharing a drink near Hamdeok beach.