SAEJIB: August 2018

I have lived in the same "small" city for almost all of my life. A large portion of my extensive family has also lived in or around the same city as well. I have built many relationships there. This close knit life filled with a densely interwoven network of relationships was all I knew. I thought this was what life and relationships were life for most of the world. I was unaware of how rare it can be.

I knew moving to South Korea would be hard. The friendships and ties I had built up over 30+ years in the states, would for the most part be left behind, with almost no connection between the former community and the new one I was moving to. I was excited. I was scared. Mostly, I was ready to find and begin building a life and joining this community here in South Korea.
In my first year, I have learned the community that I long for, may not yet exist here. You see, some of the things I long for the most, are not common here. In the states, it was common for my community to share a meal together, inside someone's home; mine, theirs, it really didn't matter. I had regularly been invited into the homes of a majority of my friends. Dinners, game or movie nights, bonfires and the like are all commonplace in the States. Since I have been to Korea, I have been invited over to someone's house twice. Both were for very specific one time events, and both were involved directly with a church related activity. It is just does not seem to be apart of the culture to invite others into your home. People still long to hangout and build relationships over meals and games; but it is almost always out of the house. One aspect of this is cafe culture. Korea is known for it's cafe culture. Board game cafes, cat cafes, and garden cafes are common. You can not walk down the road without seeing at least one cafe. For me, I love quiet and unknown coffee shops, where I can plug in my computer and work happily un-bothered by a rush of changing people. I use cafes to work, because I like to keep my home space open for hosting and inviting others over. Basically the opposite of the culture here.
So I have been learning, stretching my wings a bit, intentionally meeting and socializing over a late evening cup of tea in local cafe. Working to embrace new culture I have chosen to make live my life in. It has been enjoyable thus far, but truthfully a bit draining. With the stress of the past couple of weeks, I had desperately needed something that felt like "home" here, since I could no longer depend on even my living situation to provide that momentarily. I needed something and the Lord provided. In the midst of the struggle, I wandered into a cafe off the beaten path, that feels just a bit like home. Murals on the walls, English oldies playing, plants in every corner, and even a couple of pet birds in the middle of the space that randomly like to sing at you. It is exactly what I needed.
I still don't know what the future holds. We will hopefully know more details on Friday about the status of my current place of employment, and I will make a choice then. Housing concerns will follow after that. Either way, I am moving at the end of the month, which means a busy couple of weeks packing up my apartment. No matter what happens, I am thankful that the Lord had me exactly were I was for my first year in Korea. I am excited to see what the future holds and what moving forward will look like when all is said and done. Until then, I am thankful for this little space in central Seoul that feels like home when nothing else does.

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your

faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Right now I am in a season of trial; a season of hardships, confusion, frustration and fear. Ultimately, a season of faith.

I recently resigned another contract to stay on at my current school. I love my co-workers and am able teach children about who God is, his love for us, and his redemptive plan to reconnect us in relationship with himself. Even with it's many flaws, I felt truly blessed were I was. I was becoming settled. Finally at a place, where I was able to start praying about the possibility of joining and serving in children's ministry, here at church. That all changed last Thursday. We received an email from the school director that the school would be closing it's doors on August 31st. I had been sitting in the airport waiting to fly out to Jeju Island, excited to relax and spend time with the Lord during my first real vacation, while here in Korea. From that moment on, my mind and heart have been at war struggling with all of the emotions and uncertainty that I now faced. On Friday, we received a text from our director recanting the contents of the letter, saying we would be severing our partnership with the American School, and that they were looking to stay open by partnering with a pastor and Christian School here in Korea. It took a week for our director to finally make an appearance here in Korea, and we will not know until NEXT Friday if the school will be staying open.

On the surface it is an easy choice. Leave. But for some reason it is not that simple. All three of us teachers are torn. None of us WANT to leave. Why? I feel foolish for even considering staying, but my heart is not settled or comfortable with leaving, I want to fight through.

I have spent all week praying with no clear answer. I have a potential job in northern Seoul lined up. While it is still in the interviewing phase, it seems pretty clear that if I can give them an answer on what I am doing and when I am available to move, that I will have a job. I am confident the Lord has a plan, but I am beyond frustrated waiting to understand it. So please join me in prayer.

Pray for the students - for many of them, this is the first real experience they have had with Christians and with Jesus. Our school shutting down, would mean many of them will no longer get to hear the word taught.
Pray for our Directors - There were many bad financial choices made during the formative years of this school, that ultimately lead to this point. I am praying that the Lord care for their families as they deal with the financial repercussions of the choices they were making. As they move forward making more choices, I pray that they are sensitive to the Holy Spirit as he guides them.
Pray for our teachers - Everyone is hurt. Trust is broken. Fear and anxiety are an active battle most of the teachers are currently facing. It is difficult to get a job as a teacher for the Korean teachers, and for the English teachers, our security has been threatened. Our Visa/resident status as well as our housing and healthcare is contingent upon the school we work for. For many of us working at a Christian school has been a blessing and the prospect of leaving that for a much more hostile workplace is daunting.
Pray for me - In the midst of all of this, I was informed that the owner of my current apartment is refusing to renew my apartment, so I need to move out in the next 5 days. There is a room that I can temporarily move into, but it is half the size of my current space, and I will be living for the next few weeks with most of my possessions in boxes, stacked like storage. My boss is still trying to reason with the owner, for an extension, just until the school knows if they are staying open or not. Pray that he understands and that I can delay moving... If not pray for my sanity as I move the whole of my apartment twice in 2 weeks. Moving is something I am not keen on. In fact, I hate it. It brings up emotions and fears deeply rooted in some of my personal childhood trauma. Leaving to move to Korea, which I was deeply excited for, it still took about two months of mental and emotional preparing to handle the move in a reasonably healthy manner. I don't have that time to prep now, and because of the lack of information, I really can not prepare as I generally would.
Pray that the Lord's will would be known - The Lord has a plan for my life. I am praying for a clear direction in which choice I should pick or make in situation. I will be choosing to stay or leave... and if not that, then I will be choosing a new school to work at.

I do want to leave you with some hope and joy that the Lord has allowed me to experience lately also, so here are some pics from mt trip to Jeju-do.