SAEJIB: Unappreciated Changes

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your

faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Right now I am in a season of trial; a season of hardships, confusion, frustration and fear. Ultimately, a season of faith.

I recently resigned another contract to stay on at my current school. I love my co-workers and am able teach children about who God is, his love for us, and his redemptive plan to reconnect us in relationship with himself. Even with it's many flaws, I felt truly blessed were I was. I was becoming settled. Finally at a place, where I was able to start praying about the possibility of joining and serving in children's ministry, here at church. That all changed last Thursday. We received an email from the school director that the school would be closing it's doors on August 31st. I had been sitting in the airport waiting to fly out to Jeju Island, excited to relax and spend time with the Lord during my first real vacation, while here in Korea. From that moment on, my mind and heart have been at war struggling with all of the emotions and uncertainty that I now faced. On Friday, we received a text from our director recanting the contents of the letter, saying we would be severing our partnership with the American School, and that they were looking to stay open by partnering with a pastor and Christian School here in Korea. It took a week for our director to finally make an appearance here in Korea, and we will not know until NEXT Friday if the school will be staying open.

On the surface it is an easy choice. Leave. But for some reason it is not that simple. All three of us teachers are torn. None of us WANT to leave. Why? I feel foolish for even considering staying, but my heart is not settled or comfortable with leaving, I want to fight through.

I have spent all week praying with no clear answer. I have a potential job in northern Seoul lined up. While it is still in the interviewing phase, it seems pretty clear that if I can give them an answer on what I am doing and when I am available to move, that I will have a job. I am confident the Lord has a plan, but I am beyond frustrated waiting to understand it. So please join me in prayer.

Pray for the students - for many of them, this is the first real experience they have had with Christians and with Jesus. Our school shutting down, would mean many of them will no longer get to hear the word taught.
Pray for our Directors - There were many bad financial choices made during the formative years of this school, that ultimately lead to this point. I am praying that the Lord care for their families as they deal with the financial repercussions of the choices they were making. As they move forward making more choices, I pray that they are sensitive to the Holy Spirit as he guides them.
Pray for our teachers - Everyone is hurt. Trust is broken. Fear and anxiety are an active battle most of the teachers are currently facing. It is difficult to get a job as a teacher for the Korean teachers, and for the English teachers, our security has been threatened. Our Visa/resident status as well as our housing and healthcare is contingent upon the school we work for. For many of us working at a Christian school has been a blessing and the prospect of leaving that for a much more hostile workplace is daunting.
Pray for me - In the midst of all of this, I was informed that the owner of my current apartment is refusing to renew my apartment, so I need to move out in the next 5 days. There is a room that I can temporarily move into, but it is half the size of my current space, and I will be living for the next few weeks with most of my possessions in boxes, stacked like storage. My boss is still trying to reason with the owner, for an extension, just until the school knows if they are staying open or not. Pray that he understands and that I can delay moving... If not pray for my sanity as I move the whole of my apartment twice in 2 weeks. Moving is something I am not keen on. In fact, I hate it. It brings up emotions and fears deeply rooted in some of my personal childhood trauma. Leaving to move to Korea, which I was deeply excited for, it still took about two months of mental and emotional preparing to handle the move in a reasonably healthy manner. I don't have that time to prep now, and because of the lack of information, I really can not prepare as I generally would.
Pray that the Lord's will would be known - The Lord has a plan for my life. I am praying for a clear direction in which choice I should pick or make in situation. I will be choosing to stay or leave... and if not that, then I will be choosing a new school to work at.

I do want to leave you with some hope and joy that the Lord has allowed me to experience lately also, so here are some pics from mt trip to Jeju-do.